Choice: Can We Make The Right one?

An incredibly thought provoking and insightful post!

To add my 2 (okay, maybe 5 or 6 due to inflation) cents, I believe there are some choices we make, deep choices like our values, ethics, and the principles that we stand for, that dramatically effect outcomes in a more predictable (though of course never certain) way. I also believe that ripples do turn into tidal waves. I have posted this passage many times on my blog, in many different contexts, but I feel it fits here as well.

“Not one day in anyone’s life is an uneventful day, no day without profound meaning, no matter how dull and boring it might seem, no matter whether you are a seamstress or a queen, a shoeshine boy, or a movie star, a renowned philosopher or a Down’s-syndrome child. Because in every day of your life, there are opportunities to perform little kindnesses for others, both by conscious acts of will and unconscious example. Each smallest act of kindness—even just words of hope when they are needed, the remembrance of a birthday, a compliment that engenders a smile—reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it’s passed, until a simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each thoughtless expression of hatred, each envious and bitter act, regardless of how petty, can inspire others, and is therefore the seed that ultimately produces evil fruit, poisoning people whom you have never met and never will. All human lives are so profoundly and intricately entwined—those dead, those living, those generations yet to come—that the fate of all is the fate of each, and the hope of humanity rests in every heart and in every pair of hands. Therefore, after every failure, we are obliged to strive again for success, and when faced with the end of one thing, we must build something new and better in the ashes, just as from pain and grief, we must weave hope, for each of us is a thread critical to the strength—to the very survival of the human tapestry. Every hour in every life contains such often-unrecognized potential to affect the world that the great days and thrilling possibilities are combined always in this momentous day.” – Dean Koontz, From The Corner of His Eye

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. It was a pleasure to read.

An Anonymous Outsider

Ranting & Raving


“People have a great deal of anxiety about making decisions. Did I think this over long enough? Did I take enough data into consideration? And if you think it through, you find you never could take enough data into consideration. The data for any given decision is infinite… But worriers are people who think of all the variables beyond their control of what might happen” – Alan Watts

Is this an accurate representation of choice and decision making? For those of you who have seen the film Mr Nobody (2009) starring Jared Leto, you will have seen the possibilities that can arise from one simple choice. I’m unaware if Mr Nobody is a popular film or not, but for those who have not seen it, allow me to summarise in a way that keeps the film relevant to this topic:

(Warning: There are potentially spoilers here but I shall…

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Understanding the submissive’s position

It’s nice to see another person who enjoys both sides without minimizing either. And here I thought I was the only one! Reblogging. Thanks for sharing!


I’m often asked how do I understand position of the submissive. if I am purely dominant, but how can I possibly understand what goes through a submissive’s mind as he interacts with his goddess. The unique aspect of my life is that I fully understand this listens position because I to live my life as a submissive. don’t get me wrong, I am a dominatrix, however that is the people outside of my every day relationship. in my daily life, I am submissive to a wonderful master. and to be honest, it’s the position in life that I cherish most. I love taking care of his needs, I love anticipating what it is that he wants, and most of all, I truly enjoyed the sexual satisfaction I get from being his submissive. what I love about our interaction as dominant and submissive, is that not only do I get to…

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the “frigid” wife

Even if you’re not a BDSM lifestyler, you can learn a lot from this, I guarantee it. Great read, and thank you for sharing this!

domme de plume

I often work with couples.  It’s one of the more rewarding aspects of being a pro Domme.  I love facilitating that discovery, and encouraging growth and exploration.  But every once in a while, I lose one.

This story has a moral.  I’m going to give you the moral in advance.  Kind of like eating dessert first.  Are you ready?  Here goes:  Getting kinky isn’t necessarily gonna help you work out your kinks.   BDSM isn’t a magic bullet.   Not only will it not compensate for lack, it can cause further complication.

*Archie brought his wife Edith to the dungeon for a session.  At first glance: 40s-50s, working middle class.  Edith sat with her feet primly together, hands folded.  Tight lipped, tense through the shoulders.  By contrast, Archie sat down in the middle of the sofa, his arm draped across the back, his legs open.  He did all the talking…

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Something has to Give: Medical Treatment Out of Reach

Amen to this. Reblogging.

A Journey With You

I received a notice from my insurance company that my doctor’s office had not billed them correctly. In the notice it showed the amount of the bill. I saw my psychiatrist for approximately 15 minutes and the bill was almost $400.

I know that if someone doesn’t have insurance and is paying cash, the cost goes down considerably because I negotiate medical fees for my father-in-law who pays cash when he sees the doctor.

Even if the cost goes down for people paying cash, how can a medical group justify charging my insurance company nearly $400 for 15 minutes of a doctors time? I don’t know how much of this fee my husband and I are going to have to pay.

I find this situation criminal. Everyone wants the severely mentally ill to seek treatment (because there can be, at times, terrible consequences if we go untreated), but at the…

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Life is pain

I have absolutely nothing to add. This is perfect.

Cristian Mihai


“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” William Goldman

I’m not a big fan of “positive thinking.” Yes, it’s important that we love ourselves, that we try to see all that is good and worthy of gratitude in us and others. I believe in seeing the light in others and offering them the support they need to better themselves.

But I also know that it is extremely important that we be realistic about what is what and who is who.

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If I could Paint the Sun

This is beautiful. Reblogging. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself so freely.

HarsH ReaLiTy

Dear You,

“She says she wants to shine a light into the darkness,” but thinks a blog will not accomplish the deed. Does she not realize that with every eye that looks upon her words, a heart might possibly be softened? A mind might be altered slightly? The power to share, to care, and to allow ourselves to affect others… “affect” because we are indeed changing them. It is a scary thought for some and this is not some super power we speak of. It is the power to care and that is a very human quality. That is a character trait that should never be overlooked and instead should be embraced.

A borderless world is social media. This land that we stand in now, these people of all colors and no color at all, their personalities created on fonts called Calibri and Times New Roman. And yet we know…

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An Open Letter To A Person With Mental Illness

Thank you so much for posting this.


Dear Person With Mental Illness,

You are not a monster. You are a valuable, unique, wonderful human being who deserves everything grand that this life has to offer. Come out of the shadows and stand proudly in who you are.

You are not damaged. You are WHOLE, regardless of having a mental illness. I like you the way you are. I wouldn’t change you. I see you differently than you see yourself. I am not afraid of you or your illness… I am amazed by you. I am amazed by your courage, willpower, gifts and talents. I accept you, and your worlds of light and darkness.

Some people just have a “neighborhood” in their mind and they never get lost. You have endless terrain to explore, but sometimes you take a wrong turn and can’t find your way home. I love your vast landscape and remember… we can make you…

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Private Vs. Secret

This was incredible. Thank you.

Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW


When it comes to disclosing one’s transgender status, I encourage my clients to think about it in terms of PRIVATE or SECRET. Some people are more private in general than others. Some people will tell others pretty much everything about their lives, while others try to keep most things private. Both are ok, as long as the individual is the one doing the deciding about what to keep private and what to share. Just as most things land on a spectrum, so does one’s feelings about exactly how private being transgender is. Some are “out and proud”, being the first in line to wave the transgender flag in the Trans* Pride parade. Others, on the other end of the spectrum, guard it like a deep, dark secret; one they feel could devastate them if others were to find out.

In my opinion, one can land on this spectrum based on…

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