#LoveMe Challenge Day 17: Something That Feeds Your Soul

lovemechallenge

Day 17: Something that feeds your soul.

It is ironic and serendipitous that this should be the prompt that brings me back, and I slowly trudge my way out of a deep dark pit, crawling my way through the muck.

I haven’t had internet for months now. I am writing this on a semi functional old netbook I inherited from my Dad 5 years ago, using dial up speed internet. I can’t sum up the past few months in the time that is available to me, and definitely not on the tech that is lagging a sentence behind every word I type.

Still, here I am.

And the prompt for Day 17 is exactly why. Writing feeds my soul. And I haven’t shared enough of myself lately, through this wonderful avenue that has helped me understand so much about myself during the brief time I was active and sticking with writing. So much has happened, so much LIFE, and yet I have been malnourishing my soul. This is what helps me: not just to write, but to know that what I write goes out into the world, that it doesn’t just wither and fade from my mind until it is as dust on the wind. To know that I don’t just have a voice, but that I haven’t allowed pain or confusion or doubt or the chaos of life to silence that voice. To know that I am still capable. To prove it to myself.

I started this “One Month Challenge” in September of 2015, when I first began this blog. And I decided that I am writing from a planet with a very erratic calendar where a day means when I come back to it. I didn’t do this out of lack of motivation; just the opposite. I decided to do this because it helps me to not focus on the failure of all the days I fell behind that make me give up on day five. What really matters is never giving up. And it doesn’t matter how long it takes to crawl yourself out of the muck, it doesn’t matter if you haven’t taken one step toward your goal in the past 10 years, you can still take one today and that is still perseverance.

This place, this little corner of the internet that I call my own, is what feeds my soul. And I let a million different issues, big and small, to conspire to keep me from it. Not anymore. I will not be silenced by circumstance or self. Never.

An Anonymous Outsider

 

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