“Self? You’re Fired.”

This is the first day I should be going into work, except I’m not because it’s over.

Didn’t sleep last night. Can’t tell if I should sleep now or if I should take an Adderall and power through. I worked on lists and planning for business closing related things for a bit (it is seriously more complicated to close a small business than to open one, and I wish I had been given that memo), I talked with a friend about some of what’s been going on and got good advice.

I’ve gotten things done, on both the mental health and work fronts. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I can’t get out of my bed to get food and everyone else is either asleep or at school (how on earth did that happen at frigging noon? I’m the nocturnal one!)

I don’t think there really is a way to handle this day with a lot of pride and dignity. Working on my checklists won’t do it. Talking won’t do it. Nothing will make today feel normal.

I feel like I got fired. Except I was the boss too.

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