Day Four (I don’t sleep in normal 24 hour blocks so my days don’t function that way either) of the #loveme challenge: a person who loves you.
This is a question that I am blessed to have difficulty answering; there are several prominent people in my life who love me, which makes it hard to list just one. So I won’t.
The Kiddo: not only does he love me as a child naturally loves a parent, but he communicates with me on a level that he shares with no one else. It is a point of pride for me that even with how my disability *cringes at the word* affects my ability to spend time with him and be his primary caretaker, it has not hindered our connection and our incredible level of communication. I am so blessed by his love, a love I so often feel undeserving of because of my shortcomings.
My mom: Aside from being the most generous person I’ve ever met, she is one of the most understanding and most compassionate. When I was 15 and my friends in cutting support group talked about how insensitive their parents were, I wished everyone could have a mom like her. I remember her cleaning me up from particularly bad cutting incidents, never judging, just gently caring for me and letting me share my feelings however I needed to. I would not have lived to adulthood without her steering me through those darkest years.
The Hub: more than anything, he is first and foremost my best friend. It’s how we started, and the foundation of everything we have now. He has not only loved me through my mental illness and problems (through them, but never in spite of them), but he also loved me enough to understand my need for the BDSM lifestyle and allow me to pursue the fulfillment I needed there. He allowed me to have other, outside relationships in the lifestyle, and supported me enough to attend events with me and to eventually allow the sub to live with us and be a part of our family. For someone who is apart from such a lifestyle to be so understanding and supportive of it, THAT is real love.
The sub: first my mentoree, then my play partner, then my submissive, and now my slave and Master and overall D/s partner rolled together, the sub is a member of my family. He carried me through when my Dad passed away, and has always had faith in me. His submission is a particular honor and gift because of my problems; it is hard to be a Dominant when you are sobbing curled up in a ball, and yet he has served and loved me through thick and thin, even when what I needed looked nothing like the service he had envisioned or signed up for. That’s real love and dedication.
My Dad: he’s been gone for almost 4 years now, but I do believe that love is stronger than death. He loved me fiercely even if he didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship with me, and the dysfunction does not diminish that love. Even with the verbal and emotional abuse, I would have chosen no one else as a father, had I been given a choice. So much of him (hopefully more good than bad) lives on in me, and that fierce love is definitely one of the good things.
There are too many more to count, and they will never read this… But thank you for loving me anyway. 🙂